"Svend" (svend) 06/16/2018 at 00:27 • Filed to: None

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I brokedown on the motorway last week, I was crying so hard the taxi driver had to pull over.

I was sat in traffic the other day, when I got run over.

My son drives a BMW, so it was no surprise when he left home with no indication.

I phoned my mother the other day to say we won’t be round for dinner as my girlfriend got a puncture. She had such disappointment in her voice as she said, ‘oh son, I was hoping you had finally met a real woman’.

I was parking at work the other day when I realised I had forgotten something, my car, I forgot my car.

Chariotoflove > Svend 06/16/2018 at 00:42

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For a second, I thought this was serious and was genuinely distressed. I should have known better.

Had a friend who read that most accidents happen within five miles of home. So he moved.

Svend > Chariotoflove 06/16/2018 at 00:50

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I am distressed, though many people say the way I dress is more dishevelled, rather than distressed.  

They say most accidents happen in the home, I’ve not been home for months.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Svend 06/16/2018 at 00:51

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Maxima Speed > Svend 06/16/2018 at 00:53

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Same as Chariotoflove I was so worried. Then confused for about 2 whole minutes as I tried to make sense of it. 

AestheticsInMotion > Svend 06/16/2018 at 01:02

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These are becoming my favorite posts

Svend > AestheticsInMotion 06/16/2018 at 01:22

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It’s a nice post.

Svend > AestheticsInMotion 06/16/2018 at 01:33

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Me to Dr: I’ve hurt my pen!s in a surfing accident.
Dr: Did you fall off your board?
Me: No. I slammed my laptop shut when the wife walked in.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Svend 06/16/2018 at 11:04

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Two antenna met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent!

Will Clark's Falsetto > Svend 06/16/2018 at 11:32

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I guess I need my cup of joe. It all went way over my head. I came back around. I’m onboard now. Excellent work.

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/16/2018 at 13:51

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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Chariotoflove > Svend 06/16/2018 at 14:09

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I do not want to even think of how you look disdressed.